Missing A Friend

Well...

I don't really know what I want to write. I'm feeling a little "bummed" out lately.

I'm missing a friend that was very close to me, or so I thought. Then it happened. I'm not sure why or really what, but it did. I think a lot of it was me being jealous? Or just unreasonable? She met a man. He became her world. Instead of being [cautiously] happy for her, I was jealous. I missed the time we spent together. It didn't seem right to me that the new man took over her life. Granted that probably wasn't the case, but as I said, I didn't see clearly then. I wish I had.

I think I pushed her away. We spoke (online) a few days ago and it just wasn't there. No connection. Nothing like we used to have. I felt it and it broke my heart. I always wanted to be friends with her. I wanted us to continue our relationship and have a strong friendship. It made me sad when I realized we don't. I don't know if it's forever gone or not, but it feels it. I guess I should prepare myself for that lost friendship and move on?

I know she doesn't read this. I don't even think she knows I have the blog. But it has just been weighing on my mind a lot lately. I miss her, so very much. I wish we could fix things...