Very Quick!

Catching this at a bad time actually. It's nap time for Talon and boy is he letting me know it! I was trying to keep him awake another ten minutes since he did sleep a little later this morning, but apparently that's not going to happen.

There is so much I want to update about so I will have to come back and post again when I have more time. I figured I'd do a quick update until then.

We are settling nicely into Wyoming. Unfortunately, we are still struggling financially but that will change soon. I'll be applying for three jobs this coming week and hopefully have interviews, then get an offer. I'm excited to work (kinda) but sad too. I've loved all this time with Talon. I stopped working the pizza shop the beginning of June so it's been about two months since I've worked. Two months since I've had to leave Talon behind for work. That is truly the hardest thing.

Hubby's working and may be finding a different job that offers more income. Right now it's what we need. Thankfully we've received assistance and that's a big relief! Much easier to do things here in Wyoming than Florida. It was like FL was the devil or something when it came to help.

Ok! Apparently, he needs a nap NOW. LOL More to come soon...

Black Bags & Boxes

Oh my...

Funny how sometimes life can take a turn and just send you through a tailspin. That's exactly what I've experienced in just a week. Can we say crazy?

On Thursday, I was basically "fired" from my job at my sister's pizza shop. Reason: she got upset at a comment I posted on my Facebook. I found that insane honestly, but hey what can you do right? I guess when someone wants to be evil and just selfish they do whatever.

The plan was to move back to Wyoming. Basically, we felt it was the only choice we had and the only positive option for us. Scary? Yes, absolutely, but it also had benefits we could already see. Moving July 9th would give us time to get everything organized and ready, and most importantly set into action for hubby's transfer to the store in Wyoming.

We went to visit my SIL and MIL in Fort Myers for a much needed break. Since I didn't need to be home at 9 AM on Tuesday, we stayed longer. On Tuesday night I found out that my sister was planning to be difficult. She wanted us to pay rent (a lot btw, for what we were having) and she wanted it to start as soon as we returned home on Wednesday. But we really didn't have an option so we'd have to swallow it until we could move out. Most likely being two weeks. Yet when I woke up Wednesday morning I checked my phone and found texts from her. She was being rude and hurtful. Saying mean things and just acting childish. She demanded to have us out THAT DAY. Real nice huh? We had nothing packed or ready to go. We really didn't know where we were going to go.

We did it though. We got packed and cleaned the room. Everything is in big black garbage bags or boxes... crazy to see our stuff packed like this. It was a good feeling leaving though. It was nice to know that we were no longer captive so to speak. I was no longer going to be taken advantage of. It was nice.

We're staying at an extended stay motel about 35 miles from hubby's work. We'll be here for two weeks and hopefully all will go well with his transfer and we can head to Wyoming June 24th. That's the plan anyway.

I am super stressed and need all the prayers I can get. I know God is keeping His hand upon us and things are falling into place for what needs to happen. It's just scary and nerve racking sometimes.

Living Life Daily

Been a little bit since my last post. Nothing much has changed, not a whole lot has been going on. Just taking life one day at a time, which is all anyone can do really.

Today, I finally got a new haircut. I've been needing to get at least a trim up since my hair was in bad shape. I do have a few gray hairs as well, but nothing to worry too much about. I guess at the age of 30, I just have been through a lot and it's aging me? LOL Anyway, I absolutely love the cut and I think it's fun and flirty. Not that I need to flirt since I am married, but even flirting with Hubby can be nice right?

Talon got a new haircut too, on Monday. I just haven't been able to get a good picture of it. This time we went shorter than before and it's able to be spiked up all through out the top of his head. I think it's a cute style but it does make him look older. Not that I want him to look older at all! That's ok though because his hair grows so super fast too!

We're taking a trip to Fort Myers again. Going to visit SIL and MIL. I enjoy the visits there, I just hate the early morning drive back home. UGH. But it's worth it. This time we are planning to visit the beach. I definitely want to take Talon. This is important to me. His first visit to the beach/ocean. Something I think he will enjoy but be leary of. I'd also like to go to the park there with him. That way everyone can enjoy him like I do. When we visit the park we have so much fun and it's truly a bonding experience for us together. I just love it.

Things otherwise are going ok. Nothing grand. Hopefully things continue to smoothly go along.

So Blessed

I'm blessed. Though I often don't feel it and I often feel that life is just "too hard", I am blessed.

Each day that I wake up, is a gift. A gift to have another day of love and happiness with my son and husband. Another day to just be.

Isn't it nice to just know that regardless, you are here and living? That each moment is for you and you are able to do with it what you will... Sure, we might not feel like that but, it's true. We live these moments. Ultimately reaching and searching for a "goal" in the end. Naturally, there are evils and "negative" things that come along. These take such hold and we often lose sight for what is good.

I have so much stress in my life usually. That I feel it. You know, the sinking ship feeling? Pending doom? That it's ALL coming to an end... Yep, that type of feeling. I often wonder how am I able to enjoy life with my family feeling like this? Does Talon sense that something is wrong? Or does he not notice a change since it's be very stressful for me for most his life? That sentence really bothers me actually. It's not him at all, he hasn't caused me stress. It just so happens that January 2009 started the rolling battle of stress for me. Before then, shortly after his birth, there was so added stress to my marriage but it wasn't Talon. None of it was him. It wasn't too much to handle even though at times it did feel like that. But it just became so much in January. Life was not going to be easy for us at all. Each passing month became worse and well, then it just became my life.

For fear that some might read this that I am not wanting to know, I'll just say that God has taken some stress from me. He's blessed us once again. My son is such a blessing. Each day I have him, is amazing. I can't express in any other way just how he completes my life. Though things haven't gone "perfect" or as I planned, he is loved more than ever and very much wanted. That is the truth from the bottom of my heart.

When he hugs me and tells me "hiiiiiiii" for "love you"... yeah, my heart melts.

Big Positives!

I've taken the first step in making life better. Today I applied for my FAFSA! I hope to God that I'm approved and that I can get into school. Finally, become a nurse. This is what I want, and now I've started the process.

Lots more to do though. Lots.

On another good note, Talon is 100% binky free! It has been 8 days since he's sucked a binky. 8 Days!! Way to go to my little man. I am truly proud of him. And me. And Kenny. Because though Talon was very easy to break of the binky, it was hard to not give it to him sometimes. We did it though and now our son is done with it. Yippee!

I love my son and husband so much, I truly do. Life will be better for us, I promise.

No More Baby!

My baby isn't so much a baby anymore. When Talon was a newborn and he had lost his umbilical cord, it was a happy moment but it was very sad too. Because he lost the last "oh so new baby" marking. And through the months, 19 to be exact, he has had many changes to lose the whole baby stage. I just always grasp onto the next before it goes too. Now, Talon is no longer a binky sucker. He loves them and I think if I had allowed he'd have one for a long time to come still. Yet, I wanted him broke around 18 months. We are past that and though he's done great with having it cut down, he still had one.

Sunday we started cold turkey. It went well but not 100%. I did give in and give him a binky in the wee early morning hours. Out of selfishness. I was exhausted and not feeling well. It was easy. Of course I took the easy route you know? I felt horrible about it though. I need to be strong for my baby boy. Yesterday I planned to 100% cold turkey it. NO giving in. That's just what we did too! I'm so proud of Talon. He's really taking to it.

I guess since it's been over 24 hours since my son has had a binky in his mouth, it's safe to say he is binky-free? No more binks for my little nugget. *sigh* I am extremely happy. I'm proud of him don't get me wrong. I wanted him to be free of it and he is. Yet, it's the last stage of the little baby. Aside from diapers, which I think potty training is still many (six?) months off. But the binky just "baby-fied" him. Now, that's gone. No more. Nada.

I'm happy, definitely. He seems happy too. Like, I don't think he truly misses it. He doesn't even cry at nap or bedtime for it. He did ask for it yesterday at nap and I told him no, he's a big boy now. We tickled instead. LOL

I'm now a mommy to a toddler. No more itty bitty baby. (Who was I kidding anyway? It's been this way for a while now! LOL)

Ps. This does make me want another sooner than later...

You Can Leave Your Pants On!

My son... he is into taking off his pants. First comes the pants, and then usually within a matter of time he is taking his diaper off. Signs of maybe being ready to potty train. But right now I think it's more that he can do it, so why not? That's just how he is. I try and keep him in a onsie when hubby has him since it's frustrating when you have to keep putting his clothes on! Yet, Talon figured out that he can pull his arms in, then slide the onsie down and off of him. Greattttttt. What now? LOL Really, I thought he'd learn to do the snaps but I figured that'd take a little more time. But, I should be realistic since he is 19 months old.

I'm not fully convinced he's ready for potty training though. He does know when he is needing to poop. He'll run usually to the other side of the couch and take a moment to do what he has to do. But I'm not sure he's knowing when he needs to pee? Not sure how to tell this really. Plus, he doesn't really mind being wet and if he's dirty for a short period of time he doesn't seem to mind? Gross, I know. But I have this keen sense of smell when it comes to a nasty baby butt and I smell it nearly instantly. So he is changed real early 95% of the time so he never sits in a dirty diaper anyway. Maybe that is hindering him some what. He doesn't bring me a diaper or grab at himself. Not sure why or if it's normal for some kids to not do this. I'm not sure what the triggers are for him.

Like I said before we have a potty seat and starting today, when he wakes from his nap I'm going to put him on the potty. Then before I have to leave for work I will place him on it again. Just slowly introduce it to him, and I don't expect him to go in it. I want to put him on it a few times a day from here on out.

I think in 2-3 months we are going to really try and start the training process. He'll be around 21-22 months old then. Yet, if he is very lacking and definitely not ready I wont push him too hard. We will keep trying though.

I've been searching for training pants for him. Ok, they don't make them tiny. Talon actually needs a 6-9 months in these but a 12 month size would probably work if I could roll the top down. I can't find any 6-9 months AT ALL and I can't find 12 months either. The smallest size I am finding is 18 months and those will be huge on him. Way huge! Talon's 19 1/2 pounds but real tall,which would make the sizing harder to find at that because he has a very thin/tiny waist. I found a product, called Potty Scotty and they have training pants in XS which is for size 19-24 pounds. It's based on the 50% sizing for children though. Which means the height and weight would need to basically be in line. I know that they will be big too but I think I might try and pair and see. Because otherwise, what am I going to do? I thought about getting some 3-6 months cotton cloth shorts that he can wear like boxers? Maybe. I just don't know.

For right now, my son likes to take his pants off for whatever reason and I suspect this will continue to be an attraction of his. LOL

Ps - here's a link to the Potty Scottys...

www.pottyscotty.com/PS-Potty-Training-Pants.html