No More Baby!

My baby isn't so much a baby anymore. When Talon was a newborn and he had lost his umbilical cord, it was a happy moment but it was very sad too. Because he lost the last "oh so new baby" marking. And through the months, 19 to be exact, he has had many changes to lose the whole baby stage. I just always grasp onto the next before it goes too. Now, Talon is no longer a binky sucker. He loves them and I think if I had allowed he'd have one for a long time to come still. Yet, I wanted him broke around 18 months. We are past that and though he's done great with having it cut down, he still had one.

Sunday we started cold turkey. It went well but not 100%. I did give in and give him a binky in the wee early morning hours. Out of selfishness. I was exhausted and not feeling well. It was easy. Of course I took the easy route you know? I felt horrible about it though. I need to be strong for my baby boy. Yesterday I planned to 100% cold turkey it. NO giving in. That's just what we did too! I'm so proud of Talon. He's really taking to it.

I guess since it's been over 24 hours since my son has had a binky in his mouth, it's safe to say he is binky-free? No more binks for my little nugget. *sigh* I am extremely happy. I'm proud of him don't get me wrong. I wanted him to be free of it and he is. Yet, it's the last stage of the little baby. Aside from diapers, which I think potty training is still many (six?) months off. But the binky just "baby-fied" him. Now, that's gone. No more. Nada.

I'm happy, definitely. He seems happy too. Like, I don't think he truly misses it. He doesn't even cry at nap or bedtime for it. He did ask for it yesterday at nap and I told him no, he's a big boy now. We tickled instead. LOL

I'm now a mommy to a toddler. No more itty bitty baby. (Who was I kidding anyway? It's been this way for a while now! LOL)

Ps. This does make me want another sooner than later...

You Can Leave Your Pants On!

My son... he is into taking off his pants. First comes the pants, and then usually within a matter of time he is taking his diaper off. Signs of maybe being ready to potty train. But right now I think it's more that he can do it, so why not? That's just how he is. I try and keep him in a onsie when hubby has him since it's frustrating when you have to keep putting his clothes on! Yet, Talon figured out that he can pull his arms in, then slide the onsie down and off of him. Greattttttt. What now? LOL Really, I thought he'd learn to do the snaps but I figured that'd take a little more time. But, I should be realistic since he is 19 months old.

I'm not fully convinced he's ready for potty training though. He does know when he is needing to poop. He'll run usually to the other side of the couch and take a moment to do what he has to do. But I'm not sure he's knowing when he needs to pee? Not sure how to tell this really. Plus, he doesn't really mind being wet and if he's dirty for a short period of time he doesn't seem to mind? Gross, I know. But I have this keen sense of smell when it comes to a nasty baby butt and I smell it nearly instantly. So he is changed real early 95% of the time so he never sits in a dirty diaper anyway. Maybe that is hindering him some what. He doesn't bring me a diaper or grab at himself. Not sure why or if it's normal for some kids to not do this. I'm not sure what the triggers are for him.

Like I said before we have a potty seat and starting today, when he wakes from his nap I'm going to put him on the potty. Then before I have to leave for work I will place him on it again. Just slowly introduce it to him, and I don't expect him to go in it. I want to put him on it a few times a day from here on out.

I think in 2-3 months we are going to really try and start the training process. He'll be around 21-22 months old then. Yet, if he is very lacking and definitely not ready I wont push him too hard. We will keep trying though.

I've been searching for training pants for him. Ok, they don't make them tiny. Talon actually needs a 6-9 months in these but a 12 month size would probably work if I could roll the top down. I can't find any 6-9 months AT ALL and I can't find 12 months either. The smallest size I am finding is 18 months and those will be huge on him. Way huge! Talon's 19 1/2 pounds but real tall,which would make the sizing harder to find at that because he has a very thin/tiny waist. I found a product, called Potty Scotty and they have training pants in XS which is for size 19-24 pounds. It's based on the 50% sizing for children though. Which means the height and weight would need to basically be in line. I know that they will be big too but I think I might try and pair and see. Because otherwise, what am I going to do? I thought about getting some 3-6 months cotton cloth shorts that he can wear like boxers? Maybe. I just don't know.

For right now, my son likes to take his pants off for whatever reason and I suspect this will continue to be an attraction of his. LOL

Ps - here's a link to the Potty Scottys...

www.pottyscotty.com/PS-Potty-Training-Pants.html

Change...

I want a change, yet it seems so hard to do. Why?

What I want to change isn't impossible, and truly it is in my reach with effort. I just need to take the first step in doing so.

My main goal in life is to be happy, and I'm not. So I need to fix that. I love my son and being a mommy to him is amazing. This does make me happy. And for him I want better. I want more.

This week, I am hoping to reflect and maybe set out some steps/goals. Maybe this week I can make a step forward...

Visits to Family

I enjoy having family close by to visit, but I wish they were closer. And I wish I more family was closer too. I miss my sister Keri and her family so very much. Wyoming is such a far visit and definitely costly. But I do plan to visit and I'm hoping soon. I'd love to go this summer. I wonder if that will work out? Right now, financially we need to get other things taken care of first. Our most important situation is the car. We have to pay up on it or let it go and get a used one. I don't want to let it go, but we might not have a choice.

Anyway...

We went to Fort Myers to celebrate Easter. It was a nice visit and we really enjoy seeing my sister in law, mother in law and her fiance Jerry. They set up an egg hunt inside for Talon, and though he enjoyed it, he still isn't old enough to truly do it and love it. He found a few, and he was done. I don't think he ever found all the eggs they hid. LOL They got him a huge stuffed bunny, it's bigger than he is, and a plastic little bat/ball set. He loves that! We left it at their house though. He'll get to play with it when he visits again. If I had my way, I'd visit every other week but right now that's not possible. With only having one car and then funds are tight... but maybe soon. I wanted to go next month for a surprise visit to my MIL for Mother's Day but Kenny can't request days off every month or his boss might get upset. It's not worth that.

So our visit was nice and we are back into the routine of life here. It's not the best life, but it's our life.

Time Passing

Time seems to be passing so quickly lately. The past oh, five or six years especially. But this year it's flying. We are now into April, which leaves just over 8 1/2 months of 2010 left. That's crazy! I've noticed time seems to pass faster now because of having Talon. It seems like something changes with him daily, and sometimes I truly notice changes and just want to cry. Oh, they are happy tears most of the time. I'm proud of him and the way he is developing into a beautiful, caring, smart, handsome young man. Just the way I'd like him to be. Respectful too, but we're working on that. Hey, he is only 18 1/2 months old!

Speaking of change and developing, and time passing... We go a potty for Talon about a week or so ago. We're still in the introducing it stage though. I don't expect him to start using it and training for a while still. I don't plan to rush him. Yet, I am not one that believes in just letting it wait until they are ready. I definitely want to start trying to potty train within the next 3-4 months and have him done by 2, if it works out well. We'll see. But we are a potty owning family now!

Easter came and went. We had a wonderful holiday. Talon's still young and he doesn't understand the real meaning of the holiday, or the commercialized meaning either for that matter. Yet, we have shared both. I told him the story of Easter and he sat with me while I did. I added some silly faces and sounds in here and there to just, well make it a little more toddler friendly. I know he doesn't understand yet but one year he will. We did a basket for him of goodies. Stuff he enjoys. Not too much candy, but some. Lots of bubbles to play with though! And some bath toys. Just fun things. Nothing overboard. It was a simple basket that he enjoyed. We did the egg hunt with family. Talon and Aiden really seemed to enjoy that a lot. Then we went our own ways. Talon and I went "shopping" but nearly every store we went to that I wanted to go to was closed! I didn't realize so many places close for Easter. And then we met up with my sister Michele and her family at the park so that the boys could play together. That was a fun two hours! Talon really enjoyed himself. As did I. It was so much fun, and very nice!

His basket/goodies!

My handsome little man on Easter.

Hunting eggs with daddy!

Next Sunday and Monday we're heading to Fort Myers for some family fun there. I am sure we'll have a wonderful time and a much needed relaxing break. I know I could surely use it!

I've been so stressed lately, but through all the stress I am trying to remember the good. All the blessings in my life and all I have to be thankful for. It helps.

Missing A Friend

Well...

I don't really know what I want to write. I'm feeling a little "bummed" out lately.

I'm missing a friend that was very close to me, or so I thought. Then it happened. I'm not sure why or really what, but it did. I think a lot of it was me being jealous? Or just unreasonable? She met a man. He became her world. Instead of being [cautiously] happy for her, I was jealous. I missed the time we spent together. It didn't seem right to me that the new man took over her life. Granted that probably wasn't the case, but as I said, I didn't see clearly then. I wish I had.

I think I pushed her away. We spoke (online) a few days ago and it just wasn't there. No connection. Nothing like we used to have. I felt it and it broke my heart. I always wanted to be friends with her. I wanted us to continue our relationship and have a strong friendship. It made me sad when I realized we don't. I don't know if it's forever gone or not, but it feels it. I guess I should prepare myself for that lost friendship and move on?

I know she doesn't read this. I don't even think she knows I have the blog. But it has just been weighing on my mind a lot lately. I miss her, so very much. I wish we could fix things...

Ouchies & Prettys!

A few things to write about today...

On Thursday, Talon once again gave me a heart attack. He is a monkey, and all boy. He loves to climb and no matter how many times you move him or tell him "no", he still does it. I can't count how many times I have tried to stop him. His newest thing to climb is the computer desk. We move him constantly, but he likes to climb it and try and get into stuff. On Thursday he was insisting on climbing it, and had just been moved when he went to climb it again. He lost his footing and fell. Not too far, maybe two feet. He was climbing the first shelf. When he fell his face hit the shelf. Somehow, he lost a chunk out of his top lip (inside). He cried a frantic/hurt cry and I knew something was really wrong. When I picked him up to see what was wrong, I could see blood pooling in his mouth, as I tilted him back a little so I could see in, he opened his mouth and all of the blood came rushing out. It was bleeding so much! I could see the hole on his lip, and I was scared for him. I thought he might have needed stitches or an ER visit. It had to of been so scary for him. When I called my sister about the closest good hospital and if she thought we should go, she told me that it was a high bacteria zone and they don't stitch those, unless they absolutely have no option. She had me take a picture, and though Talon refused and didn't want us near his mouth (understandably) I was able to capture an ok shot with the cell phone. She said it didn't look too deep to need stitches anyway. It was really bad, and I was so sad for him. I hated seeing him get hurt but was also angry that he keeps doing things that can/will (DID) hurt him! He never learns easily...

Here's the photo:

OUCH!! Poor thing!

Since it's so beautiful outside and Spring is definitely here (well, of course it's Florida! LOL) and summer weather is on the way very quickly... I decided to paint my toe nails "Marine Scene". It's such a fun, pretty spring/summer color! They came out rather well...

Pretty!!

While painting my toe nails, Talon comes over to investigate what I'm doing. He squats down and intently looks at my toes and then looks at me. I said "Mommy's making her toes pretty..." He looks back at my toes and then gets real close to the nail polish brush, plugs his nose and says "stinky stinky" and runs to the other side of the room. LOL I definitely have a boy! =)